Day 22 to Day 24 of 40 Day Fast

Day 22, Tuesday May 12th. I spent an hour in prayer at RHOP (Rock House Of Prayer) and then I spent an hour and a half at JoCo (Joseph Company) for Marketplace Christians. Time needed in prayer and study. Mike Everson and Gil Hodges prayed for me and it was much needed.

Day 23, Wednesday May 13th. I barely dragged my behind to work. I have not been motivated at all. The changes made recently discouraged me. I felt I was doing things that were necessary but learned they were not. I thought the things I was doing was helpful but when I was told, "We never asked you to do that. I do not know why you would do anything other than sales." It was the comments that broke my motivation. I am trying to pick myself up off the ground but it is very difficult. I spent an hour in RHOP again today praying for Hope and Salvation for friends and family.

Day 24, Thursday May 14th. Today I looked at myself in the mirror and got frustrated at how I was allowing changes to affect my work ethics. I shaved my gotee and got ready for work. It was an acquired day though because I drove long distances. All my boss seems to care about is quantity, how many places I go a day but does not take into consideration the drive time or other events. This honestly frustrates me even more now. I stayed later than I should making sure I type all my notes into our database. Jordyn set up 3 appointments for me for Friday, Monday and Tuesday which is pretty cool especially since it was only her 2nd day of doing cold calls. Normally I would be excited for her but I find myself still very discouraged.

I have been praying for a release from where I am and for a great opportunity somewhere else to come along at the same time. I never enjoyed being just the "sales guy" at Patrol Plus. I did enjoy talking to employees, checking the reports for accountability, following up with clients and dealing with Post Orders and trying to streamline the company. I enjoy feeling like I am making a difference with the employees, much more than I enjoy just being the "sales guy." I miss being a manager! I miss being appreciated for the things I do. I am currently struggling with sales and have not had a contract so far this year, I am wondering if I will get fired. I seem to be sensitive to the atmosphere and attitudes so I know something is coming but I don't know what.

I am trusting God to provide a way and he has never let me down. I am learning to rely on God for encouragement and not man. Although this road is weary I will walk through the valley of the shadow of death with my head held high without fear because He comforts and guides me directing my every step. This is a season of HOPE!