Allowing Love

Hey! Been a long time, since May actually. I wanted to share this tid bit of what God shared with me. I am not sure who is still connected to this but there is also a new Google Group that Christina and I started, following the link winchester-connection@googlegroups.com, but I do not know what it takes to join it or anything much about it.
So God revealed to me that I am not allowing myself to be loved by Him or Christina. This just seriously came to me this morning at my Crazy Love Small Group at The Rock of Roseville. I have been praying about my attitude for months and God showed me this is one of my root issues. I am failing to allow love to be poured on me because I do not feel I am worthy of it, I do not deserve it. I know myself better than anyone else but, a huge but actually, God knows me better than I even know me so the result of that is I know He loves me even though He knows me. Not sure if that made sense so let me try again, so I can even get a better grip on it.
I thought I knew me better than anyone else ever, but God created me so then He knows me better than I will ever know me. The result is that God loves me regardless of knowing every intimate detail about me. Which results in God loving regardless. That is a revelation of God's love.
I find myself resisting the love my wife gives me and getting angry about it. The anger comes from not feeling worthy of anyone's love. Through this revelation I discovered that this is the very reason I get so irritated and angry with my Dad when he begins to tickle me or mess with me. I even find myself getting angry when he calls me buddy roe (however you spell that Floridian word). I see this is a root to many of my relational problems. This root is deep down and something I am full on waging war against now.
I share this not so anyone could have sympathy or feel bad for me. I share this because God has instructed me to share what He gives me with others so they know they are not alone and so I know I am not alone, because this is my way of showing you how to pray for me in my life and in my relationships, and because maybe this will help you.
Looking forward to any response. God Bless!

Gary Winchester Jr